1. So some people like to believe Africa is some kind of special place.
2. But those people are dreaming.
3. It’s not even mildly pretty.
4. The sunsets are mediocre at best.
5. There’s absolutely nothing breathtaking to see here.
6. No impressive landscapes.
7. And no remarkable animals.
8. You can’t even get that close to them, anyway.
9.The birds are just OK.
10. All the animals are basically the same.
11.You call this a big cat? Oh Africa, please.
12. The trees are stupid.
13. I mean Namibia is mostly sand.
14. And Botswana is mostly water – suppose that’s expected in the world’s biggest inland delta though.
15. Victoria Falls might be the largest waterfall in the world, but who likes tons of cascading water in an exceptional setting?
16.And Kilimanjaro might be the biggest freestanding mountain in the world, but who wants that snow-covered giant as your backdrop?
17. The Serengeti is way too big.
18.And those Indian Ocean islands are way too small.
19. But this one is too big.
20. There is no history.
21. And no famous icons.
22. It has close to no traditions.
23. There’s never anything to do.
24. You can’t even find a good place to eat.
25. Let alone somewhere good for a drink.
26. And stargazing is not even a thing.
27. The children aren’t even friendly.
29. The houses are dull.
31. Honestly, where is the thrill in this?
32. Or this?
33. Damn open fields.
34. Told you those sunsets were mediocre.
35. I’d rather watch a Friends re-run.
36. Seriously, why would anyone want to visit Africa?
OK, we joke. Obviously, you should come to Africa! Did you not see the photos above? If you’re thinking about it or would like to know more, just drop us a message and we’ll put you on the path to the wonderful places of Africa.
This article by Matthew Sterne first appeared on Rhino Africa, and is republished here with kind permission.
Rhino Africa is one of Africa’s leading safari companies and has a passion for innovation and conservation. They specialise in luxury safaris in Africa’s favourite destinations. To find out more visit their website: rhinoafrica.com
Matthew Sterne (Matt) discovered a passion for writing in the six years he spent travelling abroad. He worked for a turtle sanctuary in Nicaragua, in an ice cream factory in Norway and on a camel safari in India. He was a door-to-door lightbulb-exchanger in Australia, a pub crawl guide in Amsterdam and a journalist in Colombia. Now, he writes and travels with Rhino Africa.